Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Since no one has sent me any questions, you will just have to put up with my blabbing on and on and on...And on.
I was having this big problem because I haven't met any fly honeys in college, (a place I've been told is overflowing with good looking girls wanting to meet you) and I was cushioning my P.U.L.S.e (picking up ladies statistics) and found out that mine are very low. I don't have muscles, hair gel, bleached hair, 'the shag', abercrombie and fitch clothes, a muscle car or a "cute jeep", a sexy accent, a strut, a bullet bike, rice rocket, cologne, goatee, an ego, a football, and 'overall attractiveness'. The only thing I had going for me was chrome wheels and 'good personality'. I was feeling bummed because I knew my chance to ever get a woman was hopeless. So I asked a lady friend of mine (unfortunately, she already has a boyfriend) what she thought, and she told me that to get chicks, I didn't need to have chrome wheels, but to just be myself. (apparently chrome wheels do help, though.*) that made me feel really good. But this is a super catch 22 of sorts. Let me explain-- the women I really like and want to go on dates with are the ones that I can never really feel comfortable around, so I can never really be myself. I just stutter and mumble and possibly trip over my own feet and fall. I hate paradoxes. Especially when I get hurt.

*according to the study by the A.A.P.U.L., or the American Association for Picking Up Ladies