Since no one has sent me any questions, you will just have to put up with my blabbing on and on and on...And on.
I was having this big problem because I haven't met any fly honeys in college, (a place I've been told is overflowing with good looking girls wanting to meet you) and I was cushioning my P.U.L.S.e (picking up ladies statistics) and found out that mine are very low. I don't have muscles, hair gel, bleached hair, 'the shag', abercrombie and fitch clothes, a muscle car or a "cute jeep", a sexy accent, a strut, a bullet bike, rice rocket, cologne, goatee, an ego, a football, and 'overall attractiveness'. The only thing I had going for me was chrome wheels and 'good personality'. I was feeling bummed because I knew my chance to ever get a woman was hopeless. So I asked a lady friend of mine (unfortunately, she already has a boyfriend) what she thought, and she told me that to get chicks, I didn't need to have chrome wheels, but to just be myself. (apparently chrome wheels do help, though.*) that made me feel really good. But this is a super catch 22 of sorts. Let me explain-- the women I really like and want to go on dates with are the ones that I can never really feel comfortable around, so I can never really be myself. I just stutter and mumble and possibly trip over my own feet and fall. I hate paradoxes. Especially when I get hurt.

*according to the study by the A.A.P.U.L., or the American Association for Picking Up Ladies

September eleventh. today is my cousins birthday. Happpy birthday David! it also happens to be... must i even say? i normally woud write something that is very uplifting and awsome, but i am tired.

so, i finally recieved some questions to the age old awnser, or something. first question:
Why is it that people (like me) are so obsessed with llamas?  Could it be there amazingly course hair, or their rediculously cute face that only a mother could love?
-marcie
I think you would like my friend- people say that he looks just like a full out lama! his name is Michael Brown, and i could get you his phone number if you asked. He even has shaggy course hair!
question two:
would you rather date someone who
a. Wore a toga
   b. Was a cowgirl
   c. wore pink 24-7
- marcie (again)
well, i do love the color pink, but a toga tells me that the girl is outgoing, (well, mabye a little too outgoing.) but i have always thought that cowgirls are hot and so i think that a cowgirl with pink sholaces and pink hair would be my pick. but dont let that stop you from calling me up, even if you are not a cowgirl. with pink hair.

This was included in the reply to an E-mail of a person who cares about me...

But really, I think that college is turning me into an "adult." it really pisses me off, because that is the last thing that I want. I feel like as I walk down the animated street of adolescence I’m being pulled through the manhole of maturity by a bunch of ogres (I mean professors). But I just pull out the plastic ninja sword of childishness and stab them in the eye. I then utter the only thing that I truly know; a single phrase that has kept me from falling deep into the manhole of long days at the office and mid-life crises; the words that every child holds deep in their heart: " I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a toys-r-us kid." With a scowl, they turn their ugly heads, release their claws from my pants and slink back into the sewer of adulthood, looking back only to cringe from my pretentious magnificence beating down upon their faces. that’s kinda what college is like.

so, this is my "life on a page". and to awnser your question, marcie, that is my phone number. if you have no idea what i just said, than your name is not marcie and you should have just skipped it. Anyway, i want to start a question/ answer session. so You just e-mail me your questions, and i will try to awnser them. well, college is reallly hard and the only reason why i write so much here is this is my only 10 minutes of my day not spent studying, schooling, or attending fraternity affiliated activities, and i want to spend that 10 minutes venting, and sharing my problems, epiffanys, and brain juice with you...
but really, if you want to make me look stupid, than e-mail me a really hard question, and i will attempt to awnser it. NO QUESTIONS WILL BE LEFT UNAWNSERED! ( click the word (comments?) below this to e-mail me. )

Right now i have this really sick feeling in my gut because of the fact that the only person i know that actually looks at/has looked at this blog is colin. Not that i have anything against colin, (his fashion sense is way ahead of the crowd, not to mention that his beak really turns me on.) but i feeel like i am writing this to myself. well, the thing that really keeps me going is the fact that I, in spite of others opinions, swam all the way across the swimming pool underwater without taking a breath. That takes a lot of self control you know; like not giving somone a wedgie who has his undies hanging out and really deserves it because he just threw a needle-tipped dart at you and it stuck into your flesh. I had to tell myself, "just keep swimming..." about 200 times so i could make it across. In spite of everything that i have learned in this lifetime, i think what i learned today about pushing myself past the psycological limits ranks up there pretty high; right below 'never piss into the wind'.

ok ok, first of all i want to get this out of my system- i have 17 pet hamsters and they all will be fed to the biggest chinchilla in the universe.
[that felt good]
but the real reason for me doing anything at all is for the love of my life. i think all of the obsessing and the drooling came at a very young age with the sole reason being this girl- i dont think i have stopped drooling completley. [ever!] but she is totally hot and she is the awsomest girl in the universe and the only reason for me not being a heap of lifless matter is because of her smile and her eyes.
list of things that come to my head as i type really fast and try to think of things:
bottle
fan blade
pencil sharpener
screwdriver
nail
bed
doorknob
gorb
trail mix
fruit salad
plum pie
geronimo!
lots of staples
and the final thing on my list of things is the typewriter.
i wish typewriters could hook up to the internet...
i will invent it.

im trying to start a new blog with all my buddies and continue the "useless facts" and "word of the day" and "list of marsupials", but it is just not working out yet. everyone is too lazy. it is at www.thumbsandcrumbs.blogspot.com

so im just checking the server thingy...
...typewriters never shut down...

things that have to do with "jelly"
1. Jellyfish
2. Peanut Butter
3. Petrolium Jelly
4. Jelly-phant
5. Eskimos
6. Miami
7. Octupi
8. Iron Maiden
9. Austrailians
10. Werewolves

and the word of the day is
Boomerang. - it comes back, just like your lost kitten.
that is the word of the day.

well, i finally got my haircut today and i was thinking, as i was awkwardly telling the barber how I would like my hair cut, that someone should make a list of translations for people who dont speak "barber lingo". you know, like "I want a good haircut" would translate into "Take approximatley 2 inches off the top and use the #4 attachment for the back, to, you know, make it look goood." that would be an invaluble to my library of useful, important books."
heres my list of useful useless books, (books that are useless to be used for thier purpose (reading) but are extremely good for doing countless other things) and why.
-Anything by Jane Austin... for leveling crooked tables
-The Dictionary... To put your computer monitor on top of.
-Encyclopedias... for making a quaint coffee table that makes a statement.
I will try to add to this list periodically, (when i think of more useful useless books) so mabye never.

there is this totally awsome website titled 'badical extreme' and it is the coolest thing in the world... check it out

5370298 ok well my life is now pretty boring beside the fact that i have a beard now, and i need to work on my truck
that does seem to come up more often, doesnt it?
ok

ok, so where did i leave off? i was hurried last time i updated, but i have been home for one night so far. but im not at home now, im here. where, you ask? in moab, staying with my cousins. back to europe... from london, (the land of the greasy, nasty food) i blasted back to paris on the eurostar, a marvel in transportation, a train that zooms to paris in just 3 hours under the channel. i met an energetic nick and a coughing steve at the train station who took me and morgan through the metro to our hostel, the three ducks: a bar with some crowded dirty rooms upstairs. the next morning we rose early to take the train to the surf town of biarritz. after 6 hours in the smoking car, i started to question my sanity. biarritiz came into view looking very lovely. we walked to a nice hostel (anything can look nice after the three ducks) that was waay cheaper than the one in paris. with a 20 mnute walk to the beach, we were loving life. for 3 days we lived like beach bums, sitting and surfing, and swimming. i even got my back fried, so that it started peeling. the town reminded us of any costal town in california, wich made us homesick. it felt good to leave there, but seperating from rory and james sucked too. they went southwest to pamplona, to run with the bulls. i wasnt looking forward to the next two days in paris, though; i had been to paris for a week before and just wanted to go back to peanut butter, milk and big cars in america. but i did enjoy the last days of my vacation with my sister by visiting the eiffel tower, and just having a blast. i came home late on monday night after 3 flights and slept like a bump on a log, despite the heat. the next day i went to the docktor, and went to orientation for the university and that night we went to mountian man rendezvous, and i stayed even after my mom left. that left me with the nissens, who live in moab, to take me with them. i have been here ever since saturday night, and am coming home on monday with jim. i had a few chances to come home earilier, but i figuered that i wouldnt be doing much in salt lake eithier. the heat isnt as bad as i thought, even though it is above 100 every day. but now it is getting more humid and really sweaty.
thats the "rest of the story"
goodnight.

im now in london, but ill start where i left off. From murren we went and stayed in Phynand then went to munich then to paris, long drive, then stayed for 5 days in paris then came here.

so, writing from mürren again, today i went to the top of the shilthorn via 2 trams. it reminded me of the good old snowbird tram, and i miss home. but it is beautiful here and the enormisoty of the mountains here is astonishing. they are just soo HUGE! i love the place where im staying, the Eiger Guest House; it is cheap, and has no star (*) rating, but it is homey and quite comfortable. i have a room with four bunks and i am with my two brothers. i must say that the food in europe is waaaaay better than anzthing you could get in the states. its just so... good! but there are some drawbacks. the milk here is sterlized, so you can keep it on the shelf, and not refrigate it-- it is terrible! it tastes like...really smelly socks, all blended up into a liquid... eew. They do have some strange thinking, though. For instance, in the southern france, most bathrooms dont have toilets... at least the ones we know and love. even if they do have toilets, they most likley didnt have seats on them; what they did have was what my family calls a "squatter"-- a hole in the ground made out of porcelain, even with little spots to put your feet! so while you are at home, remember to love your toilet and your cold milk and ice cubes
love
wort

were here in europe, home of the stinky people, and stinky cheese! im having a great time here and wish you could be with me. yesterday i visited a medievil castle and last night we stayed in a strange, very gay-seeming hotel, with very colorful walls, and (creative) paintings... Barcelona was 37 degrees!! (thats hot, in centigrade) not to mention the humidity. im enjoying everything, and and it is totally awsome.
love you all, dont take cold milk for granted...
weston e

writing to you from the top of europe in the swiss alps... a little town called Mürren, the only was to get here is by tram or by train- no roads, no cars. All day ive been driving, we went through a the great st. bernard tunnel that was like 4 miles long! we went over some crazy pass and got passed by ferarris and bmws and porches, and really cool cars and tons of motorcycles. thanks
love zou all---
wort

as i am frantically searching for all my things that sustain me for a month, i agreed on the fact that i need to update. Tomorrow i am going to a place where daily showering is not practiced and neither is the traditional womans favorite pastime, the shaving of unwanted bodily hair. eew... anyway, i am super excited to spend a month in the "old country" and see the beauty therof. Hopefully i'll have time to update this site and tell you all about it, and hopefully make all of you jealous. For my close friends, expect a postcard, or an e-mail. i love everybody, and have an excellent summer without me.

a quick update for the coolest website ever. I graduated from seminary today, to the complete relief to myself, my parents and my seminary teacher. I am proud of my accomplishments as a seminary graduate and an eagle scout. Ben spoke today and his testimony really touched me when he testified of his belief and reassurance of the plan of salvation. He said he was happy that the plan of salvation was there to show him what lies before and that he was happy that he could see his father again in heaven. It then hit me that i also have this same testimony, but i had been hiding it from myself for a long time. I had gained it when my grandfather died, then when Richard died, it even strengthened my testimony that we will see people in heaven after they have passed away. I was telling myself that i didnt have any sort of testimony, and that the only way to get anything was to read the Book of Mormon. I know that i will get a stronger testimony from reading the Book of Mormon, but that there is allready a foundation there, however small. I just needed to find it.

so, i havent posted in a while, but heres the scoop. i graduate next week (yay) and then i will be free from all that is stupid and high schoolish. my truck is now yellow, well, more of a mixture of mayonaise and mustard. really icky. but paint is soon to come, mabye even with pink or turquoise stripes down the sides. if you have any ideas, let me know. i wrote a book of poetry, called "mirrored glass" for creative writing; it is just an anthology of all of the semesters work. i just had my lacrosse awards barbeque, where i won "defensive player of the year" and recieved a new jacket. i leave for europe in a week and a half; i am waaay excited. i get to be in the car with my family for hours at a time and get to be at close quarters with them for 3 weeks! i dont have anything against them, but comon, can you stand to be with ANYONE for 3 weeks straight? im STILL SINGLE and thats that.

so, im finally getting my truck finished, for a short time- i hope. im finishing the bodywork and i fixed the brakes, i am changing the oil tommorow, along with checking the emissions. then i can start on the real work- the straight axle conversion, the electric locker install, and the dual trans case install. im excited to finally get it done- one question-- what color should i paint it? i thought about black for some time, but it will show every dent and flaw. white wont show any, but, white? i mean really, white has got to be the most boring color ever. yes, ever. i was thinking like a dark grey or a tan, like military tan. Dark blue would be good too. i would like to hear your input -- via e-mail. the rest of my life is plugging right along. i only need 1/4 of a credit of english to graduate, and i just hope i pass it. it is getting really hard to go to school lately. i promise the next post will be way better.

so, i havent posted in a long time, wich doesn't really matter, considering how many people read or have ever read this website. Well, last night i had to get senior portraits (yay.) then i had a Jazz Band concert to play in. After that, the fun started. I went to Matrix Reloaded with a bunch of the gang for Mike and Pauls birthday. I must say that this was a great movie, but i could have done without the mad rave orgy and the Neo/ Trinity sex scene. Other than that, it was well excucuted. The Ducatti freeway chase scene was probably my favorite next to the mansion fight scene. I need to see it again, no question about it. tonight i am reading with my creative writing class at "Make a Racket", a poetry thingy at the library. full moon last night. i wont talk about my "episode" now, but just so everyone knows, i am a werewolf.

oh yeah, msn--- abortwort@hotmail.com

so, i was blogging along... blog, blog, blog. Stardate- four zero niner- slipping away, work, school, everything. i just cant seem to put my finger on it, mothers day is on sunday and i have the privilidge to stand up in front of the whole congregation in church and give a speech on how great my mother is and everything. when i told her, she said, "You better start studying scriptural mothers!" she seemed really mad when i told her. i guess i'll figure it out.
POEM
i wish my toe could wander on its own,
then it could go to europe all alone.
with castles and museums there to see,
my toe could go and you could still have me.

Through Paris, London, Germany and Rome,
my toe could ride the train car all alone.
he could take pictures of all that he sees,
and bring back Photos with sweet memories.

we can sleep all wadded on the couch,
and wonder where my toe has gone today,
you can always hold me in your arms,
and wait for the return of Toe the Great!

this is a picture of my friend ben.

there is this really cool site called where you can make little animal type thingys and pull them all around the screen. does it work?

well, this website really sucks... yeah, ive seen other peoples- theirs are waaay better and cooler than mine. but, whatcha gonna do? all i did today was take a really stupid test. yes, thats right folks, the AP Calculus test. it is like the worst thing ever. it took four hours to do, and i left a lot of bubbles blank. Ahh, there is this feeling of uplift, a bowling ball taken from around my neck. but there is still one bowling ball there. AP biology. yeah, that test is on monday. and i dont think i will pass it. but tommorow is friday, and you know what that means; weekend. work today, then friday, then study session on saturday. i do want to go skiing on saturday, considering all of the rain weve had in the valley: it'll make for some good skiing. My favorite pair of jeans is wearing out. really. they are full of holes, and they feel oh so good!

ok, well, that last post was just a tester, and this one is real... i am taking an AP Calculus test tommorow morning and i think im gonna die. well, mabye not die, just suffer horribly, and have snot run down my nose into my mouth. drool would also string from my mouth to the floor, when i fall asleep because of the boringosity of it all. {phew, that feels good.}

well, i was sitting around in my room when...BLOG! So i decided to blog my life around and change it into a blog
when suddenly, my mom came in with a pizza and i ate it.